Bake Sale Bomber

I saw this yesterday on a bumper sticker:

It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.

Now, I am by no means a pro-war kind of person. I don't drive a Hummer around with American flags draped across the windows, drinking PBR, shouting at the top of my lungs about kicking ass and so forth. I'm a pretty peaceful guy, and I believe that the first resort should always be open dialog, not open war.

Still, I think this is an incredibly narrow-minded and naïve thing to say. The person who proudly displays this on his or her bumper apparently doesn't realize that if the Air Force really did have to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber, our entire country would likely be invaded or destroyed. No more schools.

I understand that there is a very real problem with funding for education in America. And I also understand that many people don't always support the militaristic endeavors of the country. But opposing one idea by vehemently and irrationally supporting its logical opposite is not constructive. It's like saying on a blazing hot summer day that you can't stand the heat and wish it were below freezing instead. When it's actually that cold, you'll say you wish it were hot as hell again. Now you've gotten nowhere.

The real solution is somewhere in between. That's the difficult part. But people with bumper stickers like these don't help at all.

Okay, I have to admit that the bumper sticker could mean that this so-called great day comes when the entire notion that a country without a military defense would be invaded or destroyed no longer exists, that some kind of Utopian peace has prevailed. If that's the gist of it, then okay, yeah, that would be a great day. If the bumper sticker is knowingly referencing a completely farcical and highly unlikely situation, then I could almost live with it. It's like saying "hey, wouldn't solid gold toilets for everyone just be great?" Yes, that would be great.

The problem now is that we're touching on a deeper topic, and we start to address things like the necessity of evil. Consider that for all the multitude of kindness and altruism, there will likely always be an element of ill will present in human nature, and it manifests itself in a variety of ways, from someone telling you that you're ugly to armed forces invading countries and purging an entire people. That's evil. For every good soul in a coffee shop who bequeaths fifty of his most beloved books, there is another still who wants to steal them. This evil is prevalent. Without it, how will you know what is truly good?

You can't define or know anything without being cognizant of its logical opposite. What is warm water? It's water that is not cold. What is on? It's the opposite of off. It's the way you understand how delicious an apple tastes or how fun it is to drive a fast car or why sex feels great. You understand these values because you are also aware of their absence. If you were constantly eating apples or driving fast or having sex, you would likely tire of them all.

If there were ever to come a day in which the civilizations of this planet are not engaged in disagreement and war of some kind, it will be far enough in the future that we will have made contact with an alien species (or vice versa) and our entire planet will be united in war against them instead. The reason I can safely make this assumption is based solely on the necessity of evil. There will always be a bad guy, and it will only cease to be us when another option presents itself.

So the Air Force not arming itself makes about as much sense as not locking your doors at night, or leaving your valuables on the front lawn while you're away, or tattooing your Social Security and bank account numbers on your forehead, or leaving your children with complete strangers while you're out in public. Trust in humanity resolutely? Willing to take these risks? Do you think the person with the bumper sticker would?

The solution is somewhere in the middle, and that's the difficult part.