The open stage I play on Monday nights at Tip Top Tavern had a songwriting competition. Last week the host came up with a phrase ("the crossroads of nowhere" or "the crossroads to nowhere", not really sure if it's of or to) and encouraged everyone to write a song that used the phrase. I had decided that with all the fuss and struggle writing a song can be for me, I wasn't going to try to force it. If I write a song, I want it to be about something that I feel I need to express; it should be a healthy release of creative forces. I was certain that trying to fulfill an outside requirement would dilute the entire process to the point that I wouldn't be able to come up with anything good.
After an extremely busy weekend, I hadn't really touched my guitar since Thursday. I made a post on Facebook about how I wasn't sure if I was even going to show up to open stage in the evening, but a small handful of people did their best to convince me otherwise. So I sat down at about 3 to play a bit. I put my capo on the third fret to play "Clementine", but before I even started the song, a few other random chords just stumbled out of my hands without even thinking about it. I sang some lyrics.
When you finally find where you should be
I hope it's next to me
So I can still see your smile
That's it; that's what I had to work with. Not the greatest lines I've ever written, by any means. It all just poured out in a flash, and I played the chords and sang those lyrics a hundred times. It seemed like it could be the beginning of a song about someone who wants to hit the road, and I thought that might combine well with the songwriting challenge phrase. I decided that if the song was just going to pretty much present itself to me, ripe for the plucking, I might as well see it through and do the competition after all.
I wrote the entire song in less than an hour. It was a blur. I look back on some of the phrases now and I don't even remember coming up with them. I recorded a comically sloppy demo in haste, threw it on my iPod Touch, and listened to it over and over in the car as I drove around town. I played through it a dozen times after I returned home, before heading out to the bar, but I was still having trouble with the melody.
I got to the bar just in time to write out the lyrics and chords before my turn. I wound up having a little trouble remembering some of the melody, as well as how to connect the verses and choruses and bridge, etc. But I covered my mistakes well and managed to get through the song without falling apart, and I suppose I couldn't have hoped for anything more with a song only a few hours old.
There were some other really great songs, both before and after me. I was happy to see so many other people participating. I had resigned that I wouldn't win, and it didn't bother me in the least. And why should it? I had been given a week to participate, had told myself that I wouldn't, and had decided in the final hour to give it a shot. I am and always have been and always will be a terrible procrastinator.
The vote was held by secret ballot and the winner was announced about half an hour later. And it was...me? I admit I was surprised. I kept trying to work out what I had just heard; there's no way it was my name. I just didn't expect to win with my hastily thrown together jingle jangle whiny junk.
Anyway, I'm glad I did it. It actually wound up being kind of fun writing the song. I don't often write fictional songs, but incorporating the challenge phrase seemed to trigger a series of creative reflexes that might not have otherwise occurred on my own. I still don't know if I'll include the song into my live set. Maybe with a bit of polish it might make it someday. Maybe I'll record it and put it online for you to hear someday. Maybe. Someday. Procrastination...
Oh, you're holding on to a faded memory
And losing sleep, though it's not like you to worry
Everyone who knows you knows you will get lost
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Monday, June 14, 2010
Saturday, June 05, 2010
New Song "Stacy Please" (Recording)
Wrote a song. Recorded it. I don't really remember what it's about. Maybe it was about Stacy Dupree? Or perhaps Stacy Keach? Possibly Gwen Stacy? Seems plausible.
Maybe I didn't even write it. Maybe I just remembered a song written in a former life. I don't even own a bed, birds don't talk to me, and I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life.
I actually wrote this song in elementary school on the playground during recess.
This was the fifth and best take, and I discovered after I was satisfied and closed the book on recording for the evening that there is a weird stutter/glitch in the first chorus. Guess what, that's just how it is for now.
Sorry for all the computer noise in the background. This crotchety old laptop likes to keep both of its fans on high pretty much all the time these days.
it's friday night, 1 a.m.
no idea where i've been
stacy please don't go
i am dying to dream tonight
it's time to sleep, but i hate my bed
it's much too large for just one head
stacy please don't be cruel
i am trying to scream your name
but you know i'm a fool
thought that you might want the same
it's saturday, i hear the birds
saying to me it could be worse
stacy please don't cry
smoke your last cigarette
and for now i'll try
to drink until i forget
stacy please
stacy please
stacy please
stacy please
P.S. Buzz users need to click through to the actual post to view the embedded video.
Maybe I didn't even write it. Maybe I just remembered a song written in a former life. I don't even own a bed, birds don't talk to me, and I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life.
I actually wrote this song in elementary school on the playground during recess.
This was the fifth and best take, and I discovered after I was satisfied and closed the book on recording for the evening that there is a weird stutter/glitch in the first chorus. Guess what, that's just how it is for now.
Sorry for all the computer noise in the background. This crotchety old laptop likes to keep both of its fans on high pretty much all the time these days.
it's friday night, 1 a.m.
no idea where i've been
stacy please don't go
i am dying to dream tonight
it's time to sleep, but i hate my bed
it's much too large for just one head
stacy please don't be cruel
i am trying to scream your name
but you know i'm a fool
thought that you might want the same
it's saturday, i hear the birds
saying to me it could be worse
stacy please don't cry
smoke your last cigarette
and for now i'll try
to drink until i forget
stacy please
stacy please
stacy please
stacy please
P.S. Buzz users need to click through to the actual post to view the embedded video.
Monday, May 17, 2010
"When I Return Home" (Recording)
Here's a song you probably haven't heard yet. It's not exactly new, but it's also not terribly old. It has existed for many eons in the nebulous void where songs go after I've written them but they aren't included in my live set. This is yet another in the growing list of material that's in a new or different style for me, and it sounds quite unlike anything I've ever done before or since.
I sequenced the drums and bass guitar in Reason, and the rest of it is just acoustic guitar and vocals. The drums sound a little stiff and robotic, and that was completely intentional. I had a little fun running them through the exquisite saturation/distortion plug-in that comes with Reason. The structure is straightforward, the style is pretty pop, and the vocal melody is simplistic.
Have a listen over on my MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/lazychimp
Lately conversation's been strangled
I'm trying hard not to worry
But I wear it on my sleeve
No need to hurry now
I want you here with me
The phone rings and my heart starts beating
A hundred times a minute
But I won't forget it
Don't think about the distance
I know we'll go dancing
When I return home
There is one heart of mine
And it belongs to you
Don't you forget, keep this in mind
If you should want to stray
I hope you'll be waiting
When I return home
I sequenced the drums and bass guitar in Reason, and the rest of it is just acoustic guitar and vocals. The drums sound a little stiff and robotic, and that was completely intentional. I had a little fun running them through the exquisite saturation/distortion plug-in that comes with Reason. The structure is straightforward, the style is pretty pop, and the vocal melody is simplistic.
Have a listen over on my MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/lazychimp
Lately conversation's been strangled
I'm trying hard not to worry
But I wear it on my sleeve
No need to hurry now
I want you here with me
The phone rings and my heart starts beating
A hundred times a minute
But I won't forget it
Don't think about the distance
I know we'll go dancing
When I return home
There is one heart of mine
And it belongs to you
Don't you forget, keep this in mind
If you should want to stray
I hope you'll be waiting
When I return home
Monday, May 10, 2010
New Song "Dandelion" (Recording)
Another new song. Again in kind of a different style for me. I've never offered up my own dissection of a song I've written, but what the heck, this is a blog. Here we go.
(I think it'd be a solid idea to listen to the song and read the lyrics before diving into all my forthcoming blathering.)
The car won't start
The bars are all dark
Your friends are all gone
And they wonder where you are
Yeah they're wondering where
The phone is dead
I'll write you instead
Scribble down some bullshit
About how I miss you in bed
Yeah I miss you
It's all I can do to watch you go home
The fumes of our lives still hang in the air
If there's a god, well he's left me alone
For twenty-six years, so honey why should I care?
The change, it came
But I'm still the same
And if I seem blue
Then maybe you're to blame
Yeah you're to blame
It's all I can do to watch you go home
The fumes of our lives still hang in the air
If there's a god, well he's left me alone
For twenty-six years, so honey why should I care?
Why should I care?
The car won't start
The bars are all dark
The keg is dry
There's smoke in our eyes
There's ash in the trays
And we're saying our goodbyes
Yeah we're saying goodbye
It's all I can do to watch you go home
The fumes of our lives still hang in the air
If there's a god, well he's left me alone
For twenty-six years, so honey why should I care?
Why should I care?
It all started a couple weeks ago with the opening guitar part, which I just played over and over again. I love the way it resonates; it's standard tuning, but it kind of sounds like an open D tuning. I actually recorded just that guitar part and threw it on my iPod and listened to that in the car a lot. The third and fourth lines of the chorus kind of happened simultaneously as the chorus chord progression appeared, and for a while that was all I had. It took about a week for me to sit down at midnight one evening, when I felt the creative forces flowing, and I was alone in the house. (That's a big one for me, I think, when it comes to songwriting: being alone.) I stayed up until 3 in the morning writing out the verses. I tried something new with those, too; I wanted to be descriptive of the surroundings, to sort of build up a scene. I liked using imagery of broken things, places that closed, things that are generally done or used up. The feeling is that it's the absolute end of the end of the night.
The second verse doesn't really fit this mold, but it seemed to come out of nowhere, and I liked how it just encapsulated me right now. The last year of my life has seen an inconceivable amount of growth and change, but sometimes I still feel like the same old me, for better or for worse. I mean, here I am back in Indy, after all, doing music. So what's new? Exactly. Well, there's more to it than that. A lot's new, or at least different. And the truth is that the good outweighs the bad, but I still find myself plagued by ridiculous and unfounded self-doubt from time to time.
Another new thing for me is to return to the verse after the bridge. I always liked the way Ben Folds does this in so many of his songs. I think too often I go straight back to the chorus as almost a knee-jerk thing; like "well, I wrapped up that little noodly doodly bridge with a weird key change or something (see also: "Clementine" or "This Medication"), now let's hammer out the chorus and clock out!" This time I wanted to continue the 'story' (not that there really is a definable one) and I felt like ending the third verse on the "goodbye" line really brought it to a close. I was also in this mindset when I wrote "Externalization of an Inner Monologue", where I didn't even bother with a bridge, although you could argue that the first of the final three choruses functions like a bridge.
There are a few lines in here that vaguely hint at this being a relationship/love song. But I'm leery of milking that theme too much, and I feel like there are some other things in life worth singing about, if I can just find a way to do so. To that end, I think there's more in this song that can apply to other things. Your friends wonder where you are when you've been away or out of it; you change a little or a lot; you bid farewell to people in your life. In fact, "our lives" in the chorus used to be "our love", but listening to the song in the car it just struck me that it's really what the whole song is about: the fumes of our lives, the remnants of the lives we (or I) would like to have had but didn't.
I haven't been able to think of a name for this song, so I've been asking for help in coming up with one every time I play it, and the only person to ever suggest anything was Kat from the Wah Wahs, and she christened it "Dandelion", and so it shall be. Thanks!
So, did I kill the mystique by breaking it down and spoon feeding everything? Sorry. Rest assured I'll never do the same for songs like "Speed Dial", "Metropolis", or "Willem Dafoe".
P.S. This was the best of six takes. If I had decided to do a more normal recording (i.e. in Pro Tools) I might have been tempted to edit between my favorite two, but I'm running with the live thing for now so that's how it'll be.
P.P.S. Buzz users need to click through to the actual post to view the embedded video.
(I think it'd be a solid idea to listen to the song and read the lyrics before diving into all my forthcoming blathering.)
The car won't start
The bars are all dark
Your friends are all gone
And they wonder where you are
Yeah they're wondering where
The phone is dead
I'll write you instead
Scribble down some bullshit
About how I miss you in bed
Yeah I miss you
It's all I can do to watch you go home
The fumes of our lives still hang in the air
If there's a god, well he's left me alone
For twenty-six years, so honey why should I care?
The change, it came
But I'm still the same
And if I seem blue
Then maybe you're to blame
Yeah you're to blame
It's all I can do to watch you go home
The fumes of our lives still hang in the air
If there's a god, well he's left me alone
For twenty-six years, so honey why should I care?
Why should I care?
The car won't start
The bars are all dark
The keg is dry
There's smoke in our eyes
There's ash in the trays
And we're saying our goodbyes
Yeah we're saying goodbye
It's all I can do to watch you go home
The fumes of our lives still hang in the air
If there's a god, well he's left me alone
For twenty-six years, so honey why should I care?
Why should I care?
It all started a couple weeks ago with the opening guitar part, which I just played over and over again. I love the way it resonates; it's standard tuning, but it kind of sounds like an open D tuning. I actually recorded just that guitar part and threw it on my iPod and listened to that in the car a lot. The third and fourth lines of the chorus kind of happened simultaneously as the chorus chord progression appeared, and for a while that was all I had. It took about a week for me to sit down at midnight one evening, when I felt the creative forces flowing, and I was alone in the house. (That's a big one for me, I think, when it comes to songwriting: being alone.) I stayed up until 3 in the morning writing out the verses. I tried something new with those, too; I wanted to be descriptive of the surroundings, to sort of build up a scene. I liked using imagery of broken things, places that closed, things that are generally done or used up. The feeling is that it's the absolute end of the end of the night.
The second verse doesn't really fit this mold, but it seemed to come out of nowhere, and I liked how it just encapsulated me right now. The last year of my life has seen an inconceivable amount of growth and change, but sometimes I still feel like the same old me, for better or for worse. I mean, here I am back in Indy, after all, doing music. So what's new? Exactly. Well, there's more to it than that. A lot's new, or at least different. And the truth is that the good outweighs the bad, but I still find myself plagued by ridiculous and unfounded self-doubt from time to time.
Another new thing for me is to return to the verse after the bridge. I always liked the way Ben Folds does this in so many of his songs. I think too often I go straight back to the chorus as almost a knee-jerk thing; like "well, I wrapped up that little noodly doodly bridge with a weird key change or something (see also: "Clementine" or "This Medication"), now let's hammer out the chorus and clock out!" This time I wanted to continue the 'story' (not that there really is a definable one) and I felt like ending the third verse on the "goodbye" line really brought it to a close. I was also in this mindset when I wrote "Externalization of an Inner Monologue", where I didn't even bother with a bridge, although you could argue that the first of the final three choruses functions like a bridge.
There are a few lines in here that vaguely hint at this being a relationship/love song. But I'm leery of milking that theme too much, and I feel like there are some other things in life worth singing about, if I can just find a way to do so. To that end, I think there's more in this song that can apply to other things. Your friends wonder where you are when you've been away or out of it; you change a little or a lot; you bid farewell to people in your life. In fact, "our lives" in the chorus used to be "our love", but listening to the song in the car it just struck me that it's really what the whole song is about: the fumes of our lives, the remnants of the lives we (or I) would like to have had but didn't.
I haven't been able to think of a name for this song, so I've been asking for help in coming up with one every time I play it, and the only person to ever suggest anything was Kat from the Wah Wahs, and she christened it "Dandelion", and so it shall be. Thanks!
So, did I kill the mystique by breaking it down and spoon feeding everything? Sorry. Rest assured I'll never do the same for songs like "Speed Dial", "Metropolis", or "Willem Dafoe".
P.S. This was the best of six takes. If I had decided to do a more normal recording (i.e. in Pro Tools) I might have been tempted to edit between my favorite two, but I'm running with the live thing for now so that's how it'll be.
P.P.S. Buzz users need to click through to the actual post to view the embedded video.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
A Sweeping Narrative on the Status of My Life
I haven't written anything in several weeks. Let's see what's new.
I. Songwriting
The last song I finished that I was truly happy with was "Externalization of an Inner Monologue". The story of how that song was written is kind of amusing; the entire thing was written in the car on the way from Muncie to Michigan City the evening before I left for that brief visit to North Dakota back in March. I mean everything; lyrics, melody, chord progression. I just started singing it, and I opened Virtuoso Piano on my iPod Touch to get a feel for what key I was in, then I got out my pocket notebook and wrote down the lyrics as they came to me as well as the Roman numerals of the chords, as I heard them in my head. It wasn't until several weeks later that I finally pulled out what I had written down and I just played the song, and there it was. After bombing it the first time I played it at an open mic (to be fair, I'd had a little too much to drink as well), I changed the key from F to D which made it both easier to sing and easier to play on guitar. I love the song and I haven't had a songwriting experience quite so sublime since I wrote "Speed Dial".
Since then I've noodled a bit, written page after page of lyric ideas, come up with some guitar parts, even have one or two songs that I could say are almost done, but nothing really seems to please me quite so thoroughly. I am getting a little hung-up with my tendency to overdo the whole love theme. A lot of my most popular songs (e.g. "Speed Dial") are unequivocally about love, so that's not a big deal, but as a songwriter I feel like there are other themes out there worth exploring; I just don't know exactly what I want to say or quite how to say it. That's a pretty big problem for a songwriter. I guess you'd call it writer's block. For now, I've got one song that I just finished writing at 3 a.m. last week that I briefly mentioned in a status update, and I'll probably get around to posting some sort of live basement recording of it when I find the motivation.
II. Performing
By now it's no secret that I've been playing open mics throughout Indy. I got this determined look on my face one night and just decided that it was time I embarked on my musical journey, and that for now my musical journey would consist of putting myself on a stage alone, somewhat awkwardly, and forcing myself to get reacquainted with that whole world. It's not often that I have played solo in the past, so it's taking some time to get adjusted. I find myself feeling nervous and rushing and making mistakes too often, so it's requiring some perseverance to be satisfied with my sound. It has been a very cool experience, meeting a plethora of different people. Alas, sometimes I will play four open mics in one week and get burned out on it and then play one or none the following week. Also I find myself vacillating between liking my material and hating it. I hear other guitarists and singers who impress me, and I go "wait, is my stuff even any good?" Thinking like that is probably dangerous and not very productive.
Some of you may be wondering why I haven't talked about this more, or why I haven't made it known beforehand online where I'll be playing, and the answer is kind of complicated and maybe a little weird. It's not that I wouldn't love to see you out there if you came; in fact, anyone is always invited. I mean that. It's more of a matter of consciously denying myself that security blanket of having an army of friends cheering me on from the crowd by default. Keep in mind several things. One, it's somewhat spontaneous; sometimes I don't even know until that evening where and when I'll go play. Two, I am more likely to meet new people, because I'm alone and awkward and forced to say hi to people. Three, no one I'm sitting with has to feel obligated to tell me it was great even if it wasn't that great. Four, and maybe this is mistaken, but I feel kind of cheap trying twist the arms of friends to come watch me play. I mean, I figure if people want to watch me play, they will do so of their own accord. If none of this makes any sense, just know that it's nothing personal. It's not you, it's me.
III. Jazz
Unfortunately, with playing all these open mics in the last month, I really haven't spent any time on jazz. This isn't necessarily to my liking, but it's the truth. I'm not done with jazz, by any means. Discovering how much I truly love it had an enormous impact on my musical health, and that's not going anywhere. I need to find a way to reincorporate it into my daily life so I can continue making progress. A friend of mine recently let me borrow Wes Montgomery Live in '65. I haven't watched it yet, but it's sitting directly beside me, and I'm really looking forward to it. Every time I hear him play, my brain just goes all asplodey.
I've considered bringing my guitar and amp to an open mic and running through some of the very limited, very beginner stuff I've learned so far. But I just can't convince myself that it's a good idea yet. If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right; I don't want to embarrass myself. Jazz has slightly higher standards (no pun intended) than the usual singer/songwriter junk, where it's okay to jangle some G, C & D and let fly with some whiny melodies.
IV. Studio
I've had the pleasure of working two sessions at Queensize Studios since I've been back in Indy. It has been a real treat, and it seems to fill the void that I perceived for so long. It's refreshing to be back in a studio environment, and one that just so happens to have a pretty good reputation for being a great place to go make a record. I haven't really talked this up much online, because it's the kind of thing I didn't want to get bugged about by two dozen people in the event that it fell through, but it hasn't fallen through yet and so far it's bringing me a new level of musical happiness and creative satisfaction.
As a side note, I've mentioned this in conversation with family and very close friends, but I hadn't really discussed it publicly: being highly recommended by my former studio manager down at Echo Park in Bloomington was a seriously validating feeling. It did a hell of a lot to give me a renewed sense of confidence and inspiration. It's entirely possible that I might not even be sitting here today writing this blog if he hadn't done so. That sounded really grim and morbid; I just meant I might not have come back to Indy, and I might not have some or all of this renewed vigor, and I might not even be pursuing music as diligently as I have been. It actually changed my life for the better, combined with the trip to North Dakota, and helped me put into better focus the picture of who I want to be.
V. Love
Nothing to see here. There's really only one person I have felt attracted to since returning to Indy, and I discovered shortly thereafter that she's dating a guy in a band that I am somewhat fond of. I'm not touching that with a 10-foot pole.
When I first got here, I was like "no way, I'm not dating anyone, eff that" because I wanted to devote myself fully to the various pursuits I'm currently engaged in, and they are many in number. But as the days pass, and spring is in bloom, I find myself ensnared by that old wistful feeling. Just last night I walked to a church a few blocks away where I like to lay down on this bit of cement by the stairs that is at just the right combination of angles to be kind of like a recliner; and I was listening to music and watching the stars and there was a moment when I thought to myself how lovely it would be if I had a lovely person to share the experience with. And then the moment passed. I don't really plan to act on it. If anything should come my way, then so be it, but for now I'm just going to continue to fly straight and try to stay productive. (How paradoxical that, as I write that statement, I'm having one of the most unproductive days since I've been here; I mean, that's part of the entire reason I'm even writing this disgustingly long entry.)
VI. Kitties!
Two of my friends (who happen to be dating) have a cat named Rocky, who is a bit less than a year old, by my estimation. This is a fantastic cat. He loves to play outside, like any kitten, but he also spends plenty of time sleeping inside and just being a cuddly little friend in general. That's my kind of cat. Every time I see him, I get all wistful and nostalgic for Fiona. I miss that little kitten. I really came to love it in only a matter of weeks. It was a special bond, but I guess you'll have that when raising a kitten that's only two or three weeks old. I looked at some pictures of her on Facebook yesterday and got kind of sad. I remember walking into the room after having been gone for some time, and she would waddle over as fast as she could on her flat back paws (it took her a few weeks to bend that joint and walk correctly), so excited to see me! Then there was bath time, which usually happened every time I tried to wean her onto solid food, and the resultant nap spent rolled up in my shirt to stay warm: too adorable for words.
I would maybe like to get another kitten someday, but now just doesn't feel like the right time. Granted, it wasn't the right time when I got Fiona, too; but look how that all turned out.
VII. Biking
I need a bicycle. I haven't ridden since October of last year when I used to ride six miles a day, and I miss it. The weather is so gorgeous out, it's the perfect time to be riding. I usually walk a mile or two each day, just around the neighborhood, to clear my head a little when it gets kind of cluttered in there. But I want to get another bike. If you see a decent, street-ready bike on the cheapsies, let me know; otherwise I'm going to hold out for a nice touring bike. I've got plans for trips I'd like to take someday...
Oh, you wonder what those plans entail? Sorry, that's an entry for another day, as I'm not really discussing it publicly. A small handful of people (four or five) know about it, but until I feel like it might actually happen, I'm not really talking about it.
VIII. Sleep
I know there's a phrase about burning the candle from both ends, but sometimes I feel like there are also other ends that don't get talked about, and I'm burning my candle from those ends as well. Or maybe the candle was just put in an oven. Yes, I am baking my candle.
A Sweeping Narrative on the Status of My Life:
A Character Study in Eight Acts
I. Songwriting
The last song I finished that I was truly happy with was "Externalization of an Inner Monologue". The story of how that song was written is kind of amusing; the entire thing was written in the car on the way from Muncie to Michigan City the evening before I left for that brief visit to North Dakota back in March. I mean everything; lyrics, melody, chord progression. I just started singing it, and I opened Virtuoso Piano on my iPod Touch to get a feel for what key I was in, then I got out my pocket notebook and wrote down the lyrics as they came to me as well as the Roman numerals of the chords, as I heard them in my head. It wasn't until several weeks later that I finally pulled out what I had written down and I just played the song, and there it was. After bombing it the first time I played it at an open mic (to be fair, I'd had a little too much to drink as well), I changed the key from F to D which made it both easier to sing and easier to play on guitar. I love the song and I haven't had a songwriting experience quite so sublime since I wrote "Speed Dial".
Since then I've noodled a bit, written page after page of lyric ideas, come up with some guitar parts, even have one or two songs that I could say are almost done, but nothing really seems to please me quite so thoroughly. I am getting a little hung-up with my tendency to overdo the whole love theme. A lot of my most popular songs (e.g. "Speed Dial") are unequivocally about love, so that's not a big deal, but as a songwriter I feel like there are other themes out there worth exploring; I just don't know exactly what I want to say or quite how to say it. That's a pretty big problem for a songwriter. I guess you'd call it writer's block. For now, I've got one song that I just finished writing at 3 a.m. last week that I briefly mentioned in a status update, and I'll probably get around to posting some sort of live basement recording of it when I find the motivation.
II. Performing
By now it's no secret that I've been playing open mics throughout Indy. I got this determined look on my face one night and just decided that it was time I embarked on my musical journey, and that for now my musical journey would consist of putting myself on a stage alone, somewhat awkwardly, and forcing myself to get reacquainted with that whole world. It's not often that I have played solo in the past, so it's taking some time to get adjusted. I find myself feeling nervous and rushing and making mistakes too often, so it's requiring some perseverance to be satisfied with my sound. It has been a very cool experience, meeting a plethora of different people. Alas, sometimes I will play four open mics in one week and get burned out on it and then play one or none the following week. Also I find myself vacillating between liking my material and hating it. I hear other guitarists and singers who impress me, and I go "wait, is my stuff even any good?" Thinking like that is probably dangerous and not very productive.
Some of you may be wondering why I haven't talked about this more, or why I haven't made it known beforehand online where I'll be playing, and the answer is kind of complicated and maybe a little weird. It's not that I wouldn't love to see you out there if you came; in fact, anyone is always invited. I mean that. It's more of a matter of consciously denying myself that security blanket of having an army of friends cheering me on from the crowd by default. Keep in mind several things. One, it's somewhat spontaneous; sometimes I don't even know until that evening where and when I'll go play. Two, I am more likely to meet new people, because I'm alone and awkward and forced to say hi to people. Three, no one I'm sitting with has to feel obligated to tell me it was great even if it wasn't that great. Four, and maybe this is mistaken, but I feel kind of cheap trying twist the arms of friends to come watch me play. I mean, I figure if people want to watch me play, they will do so of their own accord. If none of this makes any sense, just know that it's nothing personal. It's not you, it's me.
III. Jazz
Unfortunately, with playing all these open mics in the last month, I really haven't spent any time on jazz. This isn't necessarily to my liking, but it's the truth. I'm not done with jazz, by any means. Discovering how much I truly love it had an enormous impact on my musical health, and that's not going anywhere. I need to find a way to reincorporate it into my daily life so I can continue making progress. A friend of mine recently let me borrow Wes Montgomery Live in '65. I haven't watched it yet, but it's sitting directly beside me, and I'm really looking forward to it. Every time I hear him play, my brain just goes all asplodey.
I've considered bringing my guitar and amp to an open mic and running through some of the very limited, very beginner stuff I've learned so far. But I just can't convince myself that it's a good idea yet. If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right; I don't want to embarrass myself. Jazz has slightly higher standards (no pun intended) than the usual singer/songwriter junk, where it's okay to jangle some G, C & D and let fly with some whiny melodies.
IV. Studio
I've had the pleasure of working two sessions at Queensize Studios since I've been back in Indy. It has been a real treat, and it seems to fill the void that I perceived for so long. It's refreshing to be back in a studio environment, and one that just so happens to have a pretty good reputation for being a great place to go make a record. I haven't really talked this up much online, because it's the kind of thing I didn't want to get bugged about by two dozen people in the event that it fell through, but it hasn't fallen through yet and so far it's bringing me a new level of musical happiness and creative satisfaction.
As a side note, I've mentioned this in conversation with family and very close friends, but I hadn't really discussed it publicly: being highly recommended by my former studio manager down at Echo Park in Bloomington was a seriously validating feeling. It did a hell of a lot to give me a renewed sense of confidence and inspiration. It's entirely possible that I might not even be sitting here today writing this blog if he hadn't done so. That sounded really grim and morbid; I just meant I might not have come back to Indy, and I might not have some or all of this renewed vigor, and I might not even be pursuing music as diligently as I have been. It actually changed my life for the better, combined with the trip to North Dakota, and helped me put into better focus the picture of who I want to be.
V. Love
Nothing to see here. There's really only one person I have felt attracted to since returning to Indy, and I discovered shortly thereafter that she's dating a guy in a band that I am somewhat fond of. I'm not touching that with a 10-foot pole.
When I first got here, I was like "no way, I'm not dating anyone, eff that" because I wanted to devote myself fully to the various pursuits I'm currently engaged in, and they are many in number. But as the days pass, and spring is in bloom, I find myself ensnared by that old wistful feeling. Just last night I walked to a church a few blocks away where I like to lay down on this bit of cement by the stairs that is at just the right combination of angles to be kind of like a recliner; and I was listening to music and watching the stars and there was a moment when I thought to myself how lovely it would be if I had a lovely person to share the experience with. And then the moment passed. I don't really plan to act on it. If anything should come my way, then so be it, but for now I'm just going to continue to fly straight and try to stay productive. (How paradoxical that, as I write that statement, I'm having one of the most unproductive days since I've been here; I mean, that's part of the entire reason I'm even writing this disgustingly long entry.)
VI. Kitties!
Two of my friends (who happen to be dating) have a cat named Rocky, who is a bit less than a year old, by my estimation. This is a fantastic cat. He loves to play outside, like any kitten, but he also spends plenty of time sleeping inside and just being a cuddly little friend in general. That's my kind of cat. Every time I see him, I get all wistful and nostalgic for Fiona. I miss that little kitten. I really came to love it in only a matter of weeks. It was a special bond, but I guess you'll have that when raising a kitten that's only two or three weeks old. I looked at some pictures of her on Facebook yesterday and got kind of sad. I remember walking into the room after having been gone for some time, and she would waddle over as fast as she could on her flat back paws (it took her a few weeks to bend that joint and walk correctly), so excited to see me! Then there was bath time, which usually happened every time I tried to wean her onto solid food, and the resultant nap spent rolled up in my shirt to stay warm: too adorable for words.
I would maybe like to get another kitten someday, but now just doesn't feel like the right time. Granted, it wasn't the right time when I got Fiona, too; but look how that all turned out.
VII. Biking
I need a bicycle. I haven't ridden since October of last year when I used to ride six miles a day, and I miss it. The weather is so gorgeous out, it's the perfect time to be riding. I usually walk a mile or two each day, just around the neighborhood, to clear my head a little when it gets kind of cluttered in there. But I want to get another bike. If you see a decent, street-ready bike on the cheapsies, let me know; otherwise I'm going to hold out for a nice touring bike. I've got plans for trips I'd like to take someday...
Oh, you wonder what those plans entail? Sorry, that's an entry for another day, as I'm not really discussing it publicly. A small handful of people (four or five) know about it, but until I feel like it might actually happen, I'm not really talking about it.
VIII. Sleep
I know there's a phrase about burning the candle from both ends, but sometimes I feel like there are also other ends that don't get talked about, and I'm burning my candle from those ends as well. Or maybe the candle was just put in an oven. Yes, I am baking my candle.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Place to Be (Nick Drake)
I learned this song earlier today and I've been playing it almost nonstop; I just can't get enough of it. Pink Moon has quickly soared to the top of my list for all-time favorite albums, and I hope to learn more of it, if not the whole thing (the actual goal). This was the best of five takes; I probably played it twenty times before noon alone and I should have just recorded one of those. Oh well.
When I was young, younger than before
I never saw the truth hanging from the door
And now I'm older, see it face to face
And now I'm older, gotta get up, clean the place
And I was green, greener than the hill
Where flowers grow and the sun shone still
Now I'm darker than the deepest sea
Just hand me down, give me place to be
And I was strong, strong in the sun
I thought I'd see when day was done
Now I'm weaker than the palest blue
Oh so weak in this need for you
When I was young, younger than before
I never saw the truth hanging from the door
And now I'm older, see it face to face
And now I'm older, gotta get up, clean the place
And I was green, greener than the hill
Where flowers grow and the sun shone still
Now I'm darker than the deepest sea
Just hand me down, give me place to be
And I was strong, strong in the sun
I thought I'd see when day was done
Now I'm weaker than the palest blue
Oh so weak in this need for you
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Externalization of an Inner Monologue
Here is the most recent song I've finished writing. It's in a very different style for me, but I'm not censoring myself. If something stylistically different comes out, I'll let it. I'm calling this one "Externalization of an Inner Monologue". There are a few minor flubs, but it was the best of five takes, and that's all I'm good for right now.
God damn her for finding me
I thought that I was finally free
I thought that there would be no second chance
But no amount of miles could ever be
Enough to try and put between
A lover and the love he never even had
It's bad enough to look for love
With no hope of ever being a part
Of the kind you write songs about
With the hope of breaking somebody's heart
I should have known not to trust
Myself or anyone that I know
I've already gone too far
No amount of careful advice
Can lead to love or save someone's life
If he's not looking and doesn't want to be found
There's no such thing as honesty
Or not the kind that I was hoping to find
It takes a while to get it through
To know they're finally listening to you
I wrote this song behind the wheel
Of a grave made of two tons of steel
But I'm sleeping now in a concrete bed
And I can't tell if this is even real
It's bad enough to look for love
With no hope of ever playing the part
In the kind you wrote songs about
But there's still hope of breaking some poor girl's heart
So god damn you for finding me
God damn her for finding me
I thought that I was finally free
I thought that there would be no second chance
But no amount of miles could ever be
Enough to try and put between
A lover and the love he never even had
It's bad enough to look for love
With no hope of ever being a part
Of the kind you write songs about
With the hope of breaking somebody's heart
I should have known not to trust
Myself or anyone that I know
I've already gone too far
No amount of careful advice
Can lead to love or save someone's life
If he's not looking and doesn't want to be found
There's no such thing as honesty
Or not the kind that I was hoping to find
It takes a while to get it through
To know they're finally listening to you
I wrote this song behind the wheel
Of a grave made of two tons of steel
But I'm sleeping now in a concrete bed
And I can't tell if this is even real
It's bad enough to look for love
With no hope of ever playing the part
In the kind you wrote songs about
But there's still hope of breaking some poor girl's heart
So god damn you for finding me
This is an April Fools' Day joke
This entire post is a joke; it is being written in observation of April Fools' Day. Do not believe anything contained within.
Today is April 1, the day of merry pranks and jokes. To that end, I am posting this in the hopes of catching some of you unawares. A portion of you will read this and know that it is all a prank; you will have likely also read pranks and jokes on other websites. But chances are high that a majority of you will read through this entire post and not realize the irony or humor contained within, and you may even tell a few friends about it before you realize the error of your ways. At that point, you may feel slightly embarrassed. Don't worry, it's all in the nature of the joke.
I can't take all the credit for catching you unawares. I had ample help preparing for this deception. Several of my closest friends were indispensable in the labyrinthine planning stages of this elaborate spoof. We spent hours going over the details, and now that you have been sufficiently taken for a ride, I can safely admit their involvement. If some of you feel cheated or deceived, please take your frustrations out on me and not them, as they were kept mostly in the dark about the eventual purpose of their machinations.
To those who may suppose that posting such a farcical tale of whimsy as this would perhaps discredit future writings of a more serious nature, you need not worry. I assure you that this preposterous and comedic anecdote is the only one of its kind.
Today is April 1, the day of merry pranks and jokes. To that end, I am posting this in the hopes of catching some of you unawares. A portion of you will read this and know that it is all a prank; you will have likely also read pranks and jokes on other websites. But chances are high that a majority of you will read through this entire post and not realize the irony or humor contained within, and you may even tell a few friends about it before you realize the error of your ways. At that point, you may feel slightly embarrassed. Don't worry, it's all in the nature of the joke.
I can't take all the credit for catching you unawares. I had ample help preparing for this deception. Several of my closest friends were indispensable in the labyrinthine planning stages of this elaborate spoof. We spent hours going over the details, and now that you have been sufficiently taken for a ride, I can safely admit their involvement. If some of you feel cheated or deceived, please take your frustrations out on me and not them, as they were kept mostly in the dark about the eventual purpose of their machinations.
To those who may suppose that posting such a farcical tale of whimsy as this would perhaps discredit future writings of a more serious nature, you need not worry. I assure you that this preposterous and comedic anecdote is the only one of its kind.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Ben Folds
from Rock Music Review (www.rockmusicreview.com)
Ben Folds (website / MySpace)
Songs for Silverman (2005)
Reviewed by Andrew Malott (link)
Ben Folds (website / MySpace)
Songs for Silverman (2005)
Reviewed by Andrew Malott (link)
While the band does have a few opportunities to really rock out together, on the whole it sounds quite reserved. The familiar rhythm section of piano, drums, and bass is still intact and mostly unchanged throughout the majority of the album; there is a cello here and a guitar there, but they are few and far between. Compared to the highly produced Suburbs, complete with synthesizers, electric guitars, and harmony abound, Silverman feels stripped down. This is no doubt intentional as a production decision, to reflect the more introspective nature of the album and let the songwriting take center stage, but as a result the album is a little more low-key than past offerings. This feeling is only furthered by Folds’ singing, which sometimes sounds tired and weary, instead of bursting out of the speakers with life.
In the first track, “Bastard,” Folds evokes the cynicism of an old man. Although the lyrics are entirely in the third person, it seems as though he is singing about himself. Marked by interesting meter changes, this song stands out as the longest and most varied of the album. Following this is “You to Thank,” which has great lyrics and an incredible jazzy piano solo at the bridge that will perk the ears of seasoned fans. Unfortunately, it lacks a strong, memorable chorus to complement Folds' piano mastery. He returns to the cynical theme later in the album in “Sentimental Guy.” The swaggering, swung rhythm and beautifully dissonant chords of the chorus are very charming, and this simple song manages to work.
“Landed,” released as a single in February, is a combination of the best of Folds’ talents at this stage in his life. The chords are beautiful, the melody is memorable, and the lyrics are touching; it’s one of the best tracks on the album. “Give Judy My Notice,” a candidate for another radio single, is a reworking of a song from Folds’ 2003 EP Speed Graphic, this time with drums, bass, and a bit of slide guitar. Unfortunately, this remake pales deeply in comparison to its predecessor and any fan of Ben Folds is strongly urged to listen to a copy of Speed Graphic to hear the song at its finest.
“Jesusland” is Folds at his sharpest as he takes shots at urban America. This isn’t a far cry lyrically from his live show favorite “All U Can Eat,” from the Sunny 16 EP, although here he addresses the subject with a bit more class.
More touching and meaningful than any other song on the album is “Late,” a tribute to the late singer/songwriter Elliott Smith. It gives “Landed” a run for its money as best song on the album.
Ben Folds has earned a reputation for making the music he wants to make when he wants to make it, and Songs for Silverman is certainly no exception. Eschewing past formulas for success, Folds has chosen to write songs about the things he cares about, not what he cared about ten years ago. Nothing on the album is actually anything less than good, but taken in the context of Ben Folds’ decade-long history, it’s hard to measure up.
7.5 / 10
Monday, December 12, 2005
Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
from Rock Music Review (www.rockmusicreview.com)
Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s (website / MySpace)
The Dust of Retreat (2005)
Reviewed by Andrew Malott (link)
Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s deftly combine sounds of folky acoustic guitar, driving electric guitar, smooth cello, and catchy piano to create a wonderfully unique sound. Singer/songwriter Richard Edwards, formerly of the band
The first two tracks “A Sea Chanty of Sorts” and “On a Freezing Chicago Street” pass by without a big, catchy chorus, but they are no less important in their own right, nor are they altogether without any hooks to speak of. Both are exemplary of Richard’s uncanny ability to write songs that are catchy and undeniably pop, but unique enough to be called indie. The fourth track “Quiet as a Mouse” stands out in that it is the only song on the album to feature a truly rocking chorus. Distorted power chords and soaring vocal melodies are a nod back to Richard’s days with
Songs like “Jen Is Bringin’ the Drugs” and “A Light on a Hill” are wonderful showcases for Richard’s singer/songwriter roots. With lyrics like “Love is an inkless pen / It’s a tavern, it’s sin / It’s a horrible way to begin,” he’s no stranger to the loved-and-lost formula, but he avoids it and only hints at subjects other singers might have come right out and said. Richard’s use of metaphor is both highly romanticized and mysterious; he leaves out the details for the listener to fill in. On “Vampires in Blue Dresses,” “Barfight Revolution / Power Violence,” and “Skeleton Key,” the band really gets a chance to have some fun; they serve as a great contrast to the quieter, pensive mood of some of the other tracks like “Dress Me Like a Clown” and “Talking in Code.” With jingling bells and a sweet, descending piano melody, the final song “Bookworm” brings the album to a satisfying close.
Technically, the album represents a watermark for producer Tyler Watkins, who is also the bassist of the band. Every track is easy to listen to with an even frequency spectrum and balanced highs and lows. The loud parts are loud and rocking, while the softer parts have just the right amount of compression to bring out the intricacies of the performance while still retaining enough dynamic sway.
The talented musicians of Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s have a bright future ahead of them with a great debut album to boot. It will be a shame if future listeners, lured in by the band’s ever increasing popularity, never have the pleasure of hearing this album. It will be an even bigger shame if the band’s sound is waxed over by the suits of the recording industry in hopes of making even more money. Hopefully Richard and the band have enough wits about them to keep their musical integrity in highest priority as they start to show up on the big scene.
9.0 / 10.0
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Metropolis (new music)
I haven't got much to post lately. Here's a song I wrote recently (with a little help from Dan on a couple lines). Listen to it here (with a little help from Greg on the guitar part at the bridge).
"Metropolis"
I know that you're up there
I'm up there too
And that's where I'll stay
If it's alright with you
I'm floating on the air
We move from place to place
As you sleep the day away
Try to keep a little faith in me and you
If that's okay with you, I'll stay
If you go, don't leave me here
Cuz this city is being overrun by
Businessmen in Cadillacs
Singing songs about drawing up a contract
You're laying in the yard
With your head up in the sky
Playing seventh chords
Dreaming of July
You're taking this too hard
But still you count the days
And the things we can't afford
And the things I couldn't say to you
If that's okay with you, I'll stay
If you go, don't leave me here
Cuz this city is being overrun by
Businessmen in Cadillacs
Singing songs about drawing up a contract
"Metropolis"
I know that you're up there
I'm up there too
And that's where I'll stay
If it's alright with you
I'm floating on the air
We move from place to place
As you sleep the day away
Try to keep a little faith in me and you
If that's okay with you, I'll stay
If you go, don't leave me here
Cuz this city is being overrun by
Businessmen in Cadillacs
Singing songs about drawing up a contract
You're laying in the yard
With your head up in the sky
Playing seventh chords
Dreaming of July
You're taking this too hard
But still you count the days
And the things we can't afford
And the things I couldn't say to you
If that's okay with you, I'll stay
If you go, don't leave me here
Cuz this city is being overrun by
Businessmen in Cadillacs
Singing songs about drawing up a contract
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