The precise reason that religion is bullocks

Recently, the Catholic church has been debating the possibility of doing away with the concept of limbo. For the uninitiated, this is the realm in which unbaptized but innocent souls (like babies or those who lived before Jesus did his thing) go when they die; not quite heaven and not quite hell. Its etymology is of Latin descent, from limbus, and it originally meant the border of hell. This was a great concept to sedate the minds of the earthly survivors, who feared that their lost loved ones were suffering in an eternal sea of fire.

Now it seems that this age-old theory is about to be debunked -- by the same group of people who devised it centuries ago. The good ol' boys of the Catholic church have been gathering up in their tree house to determine what to do about the situation. Their former ring leader Pope John Paul even expressed his own desire to remove the concept of limbo from the church before he died. What's going to replace it? Maybe babies who die during childbirth do go to hell.

The fact that these guys can just decide to do away with a concept like, oh, where someone's soul goes when he or she dies, is just the kind of thing that helps shatter the very foundation of their credibility. If there is a god, he's probably looking on and laughing at all of his silly little Catholics, rewriting this and modifying that until life is easy to live again. It's a simple fact that times change and so do standards; thankfully, the Bible changes too. I'm sure if you wait around long enough, it will eventually change enough to fit your standards too. That seems to have been the motto of any significant church movement in recorded history: Don't like what they teach? Rewrite it.

Remember that election a year ago, when a country's faith in a presidential candidate was shaken because of an indecisive streak? The church is no different, except it's been changing its mind for almost two thousand years. How can something be true if all it takes is a meeting with couple of stodgy old guys to change it every now and then on a whim?

If next year they claimed that hell doesn't exist, would Catholics the world over believe and accept it?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051130/od_nm/pope_limbo_dc

A practical application of mutual incurred loss in a spatial, finite distribution

If two bodies are separated by a distance X, let X be divided into any number of finite segments such that X = A + B + C + ... + N, for which all values are positive, rational numbers. If X > 0, both parties suffer the mutual incurred loss of the 'Equal but Opposite Bodies' theorem, as outlined here by the author on 15 February 2005. Furthermore, let T = time of separation between bodies. The mutual incurred loss will be proportional to (X + T)².

Financial concerns

Greetings Cradle-goers,

It's been over half a year since we last talked but something's come to my attention that I'd like to bring up. Below you see what appears to be an innocent person carrying an inconspicuous book on a nondescript street.



Click for full size
If you look closer, however, you'll find out that there's much more to the scene than you thought. This poor individual has been the victim of an unfortunate agenda to rid the contents of his wallet and bank account. At a cursory glance, you might be tempted to believe that he is of lower-middle class status, perhaps a college student getting by on minimum wage and federal grants. Let your eyes wander to the bottom and you will observe what appear to be descriptions and prices of various clothing garments, all of which adorn our street-crossing urchin. It is at this point that you will make the horrifying discovery that he is actually filthy rich and has spent in excess of $300 on pants. Jeans. Denim.

His entire outfit costs $484, not including the "vintage hat and scarf," which are listed as not available. What? Is that the only item that Urban Outfitters hasn't bought from Goodwill and then marked up the price 100 times higher? I've got a pair of corduroys with frayed edges, ripped hems, and a hole in the pocket, and you can buy them from me for $300. No wait, $150. Actually, I think I won't sell them; I've had them for over 4 years and I enjoy wearing them. So if you want to look as cool as me, you're going to have to do what this poor bastard did: spend nearly two weeks' pay on a pair of dingy pants.

Tune in next time to see if he makes it across the street. I'm hoping he doesn't.

On the ridiculousness of modern Christianity

Terri Shiavo. This has already been talked to death, so I'll keep it short. A person who is on the brink of death for fifteen years is artificially kept alive. That sounds natural. Let's assume God exists for the sake of argument (but let's forego the capitalization of pronouns for simplicity). I'm sure he didn't intend for his little creations to be unnaturally held in an incompetent stasis for over a decade. Death is as much a part of life as birth is. If this woman was supposed to die fifteen years ago, it's not up to us to hold her forever in this world as nothing more than a breathing corpse. And what do the religious extremists care? It's only slightly ironic that the ones who actually believe in eternal afterlife and undying love from the creator are the ones who are raising such a fuss over supposedly releasing this woman into that bliss.

Metropolis (new music)

I haven't got much to post lately. Here's a song I wrote recently (with a little help from Dan on a couple lines). Listen to it here (with a little help from Greg on the guitar part at the bridge).

"Metropolis"

I know that you're up there
I'm up there too
And that's where I'll stay
If it's alright with you

I'm floating on the air
We move from place to place
As you sleep the day away
Try to keep a little faith in me and you

If that's okay with you, I'll stay

If you go, don't leave me here
Cuz this city is being overrun by
Businessmen in Cadillacs
Singing songs about drawing up a contract

You're laying in the yard
With your head up in the sky
Playing seventh chords
Dreaming of July

You're taking this too hard
But still you count the days
And the things we can't afford
And the things I couldn't say to you

If that's okay with you, I'll stay

If you go, don't leave me here
Cuz this city is being overrun by
Businessmen in Cadillacs
Singing songs about drawing up a contract

Philosophical musings, II

This is the cause of that unfortunate envy which so many people feel for the lives of others. Looking at them from the outside, one imparts to them a coherence and a unity which in reality they cannot have, but which appears obvious to the observer. The latter sees only the framework of these lives, ignoring the worms which gnaw it away. Thus we turn the lives of others into a work of art. We turn them into a romance.

-Albert Camus, L'homme révolté

The Dark Knight

I suspect we've all made this joke at one point or another in our lives.



The Dark Knight

The Tale of the Bat, V

5. Of the Journey Home

The next day dawned fair and sweet. The pallid greys of winter were rolled back to reveal a joyous song of colour and light. High above the sun smiled upon all the lands, and a new season was begun. The men of Jonas walked at ease through fields and woods and pastures and hills. They came at last to the Realm of Jonas.

"O, fair Paddington!" cried Drew and he fell to his knees and wept. The House of Jonas stood tall and mighty, unsoiled by the chill of winter. They entered into the great halls and there came the sound of laughter and merrymaking; it was a feast, a celebration.

"Hark to the sounds of fair voices and singing, such as I have not heard for an age," said Brian as they walked. They were greeted by a large host of friends and neighbours, and such a multitude had never been gathered before nor was seen thereafter.

After many old friendships were revisited, all were seated round the table and enjoyed a great feast while the men of Jonas recounted their tale. Some of the youngest grew frightened yet listened on in curiosity. The day grew long and many bottles of the finest draught were emptied ere the story was told, and not the smallest detail was left out.

"Alas that such dark times as these should befall us all," said one. "Ah, but for the strength of Jonas we should have been nothing but shadows in our fear," spoke another. A silence fell over the room.

"Then we shall drink to good health!" said Greg after a moment. A shout went up and many glasses were drained. The singing and laughter resumed again.

"It is quite a miracle that we are all of good health indeed!" shouted Dan, and there was another cheer. But Drew did not share in the excitement, though none was the wiser in all the commotion. He looked down at the palm of his hand and for a moment he felt again the pain of fire stretching across his skin. He looked up and saw that Dan had noticed. "Or at least, mostly good health," he said to Drew beneath the roar of the party.

"No, I do not suppose I shall ever be quite the same again," replied Drew. "I can still feel the terrible gaze of the bat from within when I close my eyes. But as much as things have changed, I believe there are some things that shall never change."

And in time the many visitors made their departure, and the House of Jonas carried on much the same as ever before. It was not long ere that realm was once again filled with the joyous sounds of a rocking band comprised of four alpha male specimens, the likes of which no woman has not swooned upon.

Here ends the Tale of the Bat.

The Tale of the Bat, IV

4. Of the Capture of the Beast

It was not long before all store of rations had been consumed. Exhaustion and fatigue caused much delay. "We must have a bit of a break," said Drew, "or I should not live to see the light of another day."

"To call this 'day' would seem a jest," replied Dan. Indeed the skies had grown ever darker as the days passed. The Company had taken to resting at any time, day or night, for day had become a shadow of doubt and night was illuminated in a glow of fear, so that the hours passed in an unrelentless cycle.

In a small clearing of grass surrounded by a field of twig and thatch and a small pool of still water, they rested upon what blankets and cloth they had brought. There was little talk as each weary traveler drifted into uneasy slumber. The dark air creeped closer about them on all sides. They did not sleep long ere all were awoken in a startled fit. The wind was sighing in high whispers, rhythmically pulsing like the gentle droll of the sea. All were silent as the sound grew more intense, until it seemed to each that it came from within their very minds.

There came then a call, which reached out across the skies like deathly cold fingers. The festering beast took wing, and it appeared as though a veil had been drawn about the heavens. A great shadow rolled over the Party, and despair came upon them like a plague. They were quickly scattered as the bat darted among their camp. It reared its hideous muzzle and pierced their minds with merciless eyes.

Now separated by a shout's distance, each drew his weapon and swung blindly in fear at the enemy. Guided by some force unknown, Drew's worthy blade found its way deep into the flesh of the winged creature. The bat cried out in rage but did not halt in its course, borne upon the wind. The hilt of Drew's blade grew very hot then, and he cursed its name.

Dan spied Drew from nearby in his agony. "Drew, release your weapon!" he cried, but his words were of no use. Drew was crouched upon the ground, holding his blade tight against his chest. The smell of burning flesh permeated the air.

"No," he said slowly. "This blade is mine, and I will do with it as I please. I will wield it until the end of time, until all the earth is grown old and dead! I can never let it go!"

Greg appeared behind Drew and struck a blow to his forearm. The sword fell from Drew's burning hand and scorched the ground below. Brian kicked the fiery weapon into the shallow pool; a light smoke hung in the air. Drew looked about confused. "I am sorry," he said. "I was not myself for a moment."

"Indeed you were not," replied Dan. "But now is not the time for explanations. The winged enemy returns!" Together they spun and faced the looming evil.

"Clearly we cannot hope to defeat this thing with even the sharpest blade, such as we have," spoke Brian. He stooped over his pack and removed from it a broad cloak. "Let each man take firm hold of one corner."

And so the bat raced towards them, cackling and screeching in a wretched tongue. Its fiery eyes pierced each of their minds, one by one, and cast into them visions of agony and death, but the men of Jonas held fast. When the bat was near, they raised up the cloak and, billowing in the wind, it cast a great shadow upon the bat. Swiftly they brought the corners round and drew them tight about the bat.

"Alas!" shouted Greg. "The deed is done." He held the cloak aloft and each man of Jonas tied about it a length of rope. "The earth shall have grown old indeed ere these bonds are broken."

They gathered what was left of their belongings scattered throughout the clearing and departed that dark realm.

The Tale of the Bat, III

3. Of the Quest of Jonas

The journey across many lands unknown was long and difficult. The supply of food they had rationed for the trip diminished with each passing day. Little life there was, and less water. Occasionally a meal was made of root or blossom and the sap of a young tree not yet stained by the muddy, ageless skies.

"The lands are crying out," uttered Dan. "We are near to the creature." Indeed then, as if by fate, the woods about them grew silent. The air grew dense in anticipation. Nearby a bush rustled, disturbing the tense calm about the land.

"Show yourself, thing of evil, for you make enough sound that I should slay you swiftly with naught the sight of you!" cried Drew into the unavailing silence. There came a laughter, hearty and merry.

"You should be so lucky to have a swing at me at all." Out from behind a tree stepped Brian. The others surrounded him joyfully, and they embraced, and all were comforted.

"What good fortune brings you hither into our travels, friend?" asked Dan.

"I have come by news of ill tidings in these parts," answered Brian. "They speak of a lingering darkness, one which circles round in the night, first high and then lower, until even the haughty man is stricken with fear, and he of lesser stature flees in shame."

"Your words ring true, for I have seen this thing with my own eyes." Greg seemed to diminish and his voice was but a whisper in the vastness of the green land.

"What hope have we in such dark times?" wondered Drew aloud. "Such devilry as this cannot be matched by mortal means. Perhaps we have come to the end of our days."

"You speak as one who is already defeated," spoke Brian. "It is perhaps then because fear has clouded your judgement. Who indeed can withstand the might of this terrible bane? No man can contest its wicked strength, yet look not past strength in bonds of friendship forged long ago. You may find some strength unknown, some hope renewed. We go now not on any simple errand, but on a journey of pain and struggle. The despair of one shall be the doom of all; let he who doubts the power of Jonas go no further!"

At this, the Company set out into the deepening night with heavy hearts.