I once went to high school with a man by the name of Brian Berg. Everyone just calls him Bergy. Bergy is probably the funniest guy I have ever known, and here's why: he will often begin to speak without first considering his words as an entire sentence.¹ This has led to some of the funniest things I have ever heard uttered by another human being. I offer the following as testament to this fact:
"I'm hungry. Such as five cheeseburgers."
"I should cut off my arm and sell it to the British army."
"I coulda did it but I didn't did it."
"Okay, back to me having now to go up there."
"We have a guy lunch lady today.
In addition to the spoken word, Bergy is a refined master of the visual arts. I present two samples of his lunchtime napkin explorations (click for full size):
"I'm hungry. Such as five cheeseburgers."
"I should cut off my arm and sell it to the British army."
"I coulda did it but I didn't did it."
"Okay, back to me having now to go up there."
"We have a guy lunch lady today.
In addition to the spoken word, Bergy is a refined master of the visual arts. I present two samples of his lunchtime napkin explorations (click for full size):
These artifacts have survived four years in the murky depths of my wallet and have remained relatively intact. This is nothing short of a miracle, as it is common knowledge that high school cafeteria napkins are considerably less than high grade stock. The third sample, Captain Inertia, has been lost for several years now and will probably never surface again. Here now can we reflect upon these great works until the end of time, where in the digital realm they will persevere unscathed by nature's cruel torment of friction and moisture.
¹ Bergy is actually a very smart guy. He is an accounting major at Ball State University and he will own anyone in poker or lacrosse.
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